why i will never be a hipster

Let me count the ways.

1. I look terrible in jorts. It's quite horrifying actually.
2. I'm too poor to shop at American Apparel/think it is overrated/too expensive for what it is.
3. High waisted jeans/skirts/shorts also do not look good on me.
4. I do not own any headbands or a fedora. Again, I look bad in these.
5. I am not vegetarian/vegan.
6. I can't grow a mustache. Especially not the handlebar variety.
7. I don't drink PBR...I just don't like beer.
8. I do not have blunt fringe bangs that cover my entire face.

I however, do enjoy:
1. Finding out about new bands.
2. Dance parties.
3. Going to shows.
4. Smoking Parliaments.
5. A good pair of skinny jeans.

Right now I'm pretty fond of this jam.